His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
