She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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