why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
