Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't deserve a penis
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
