I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
