Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
