she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
