Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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