Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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