I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
