Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
