Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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