Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize