wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i was born a porn star she said
im having a threesome with these popsicles
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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