Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
