it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
