Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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