you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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