I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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