yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
