I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
