worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
