Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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