So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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