A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
