Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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