but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
