at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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