We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
