It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
