come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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