Sry I called you an 8
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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