It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
