Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
