Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
