i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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