I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
