Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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