sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
