Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
