Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
