youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
