Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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