there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
