It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
