Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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