it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
