If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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