I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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