my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
