Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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