Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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