My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
