I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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