So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
