Pappa wants mamma naked
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
