I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
