only if we run a train.
done.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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